Life and Trials

I had my doctor's appointment today for my back and discussed everything with my doctor, and he apparently knew about the seizure. Apparently (not that I remember) when I first started in on it, and getting frustrated, Mom called him to get opinions, at which point I said I was tired and going to bed, only to crash into the door frame. Anyway, we discussed the biggest problem, which was the Ambien: In 18 days, I went through 30 pills, so I was nearly taking double the dose. I don't recall this happening, but the last appointment I had, we changed my prescription from Ambien 10mg to Ambien CR 12.5mg, which is when the weird shit started happening (random phonecalls to friends asking for naked photos? Yeah. So not kidding on that one. So don't remember it, either), which was frustrating and upsetting enough to make me cry.

Then a few days after I ran out, I had the seizure. So my regular doctor isn't too certain it was the Ambien, and my spinal doc thinks that was most likely what it was. I had too much in my system, and stopped cold turkey, and the body freaked out. Similar to what happened with the Norco; so long as you swap the constant puking with a seizure.

Oh, and taking X-rays of your spine while your shoulder's still sore from dislocating it? That hurts. Corwin got to see the x-rays, and just how big the screws in my spine are. It looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

Anyway, I've been off the Ambien since the 4th, so, just about two-and-a-half weeks. Because of my back being the mess it is, and having lived off of Ambien for some three years, they've put me on a stronger form of Benedryl, which is the safest thing to use as a sleep aid.

Also, my doctor/surgeon Saimbanez is leaving the practice, and moving onto children's orthopedics, which means I am going to have to work with the lawyer to get a new doctor (this being at the Haider Spine Center, I will most likely be going to Dr. Haider, who I was originally supposed to in the first place. I only didn't because of his book being full). In either case, both doctors are EXTREMELY good (go Google Thomas T. Haider - no, seriously, do it) at what they do, so I will be in good hands. That procedure I had done? He's the one that invented it.

I've got another ten appointments with physical therapy, and I'll need to call and get them scheduled come Monday, now that my shoulder's doing better.

I also have Fallout 3. It is made of win and the hopes and dreams of small children. Nuking a town and their two-headed Brahmins has never been so much fun. And stress relieving.

Oh, one last thing: Sunday will be the five year mark of my injury. So like, happy spinal-cord=injury-birthday to me.

I've written this out on paper so I can read it off the sheet as I type it, instead of looking at the monitor as it's become something of a necessity for the time being, as well as possibly a requirement for life, so I'm trying to get this done as quickly as possible. In a nutshell, the doctors believe I might be epileptic, so I have to be careful with what I do, nor can I drive, which is extremely frustrating as it is.

Anyway, on the 6th of November, I wound up having a grand mall seizure while trying to go into my bedroom to go to bed, and wound up going face and foot and shoulder first into the door frame ( i32.photobucket.com/albums/d42/Kazlor/Shoulder.jpg ). Thankfully, my right shoulder took the brunt of the fall, and the bruise has since cleared up, but I managed to give myself a good knot across the right side of my face, broke a big toe, and in the fall, I dislocated my left shoulder. Of course, none of this I remember, which is par for the course.

I DO remember going to the hospital in an ambulance, and the amount of money they want to charge me for all of this. They kept me in for about eight hours, mostly because my blood pressure was through the roof. So the next day, I had to go to my regular doctor's, and get that taken care of (which it now is, and it reminded me to take my BP meds), as well as get a bunch of other tests scheduled to be done, MRIs, brain scans, things like that. The doctors aren't certain what the cause is. It could be from me getting off the Ambien (which also causes memory loss, so I'm doubly fucked on things until it's out of my system), although that is EXTREMELY rare, or I could be epileptic, or it could just be one of those rare situations where has one randomly, and never has one again in their life, except I've had a few minor ones since then, and they've all been documented.

So yeah, I'm not exactly going to be on here much at all from now on until things get resolved.

Ados.

So with the onset of fall/winter coming in all of a sudden out here in Riverdirt, my pain tolerance goes to shit, and my patient regulated dosages for my medication increases. This is common, and well-known, and has been such for going on five years now. Not to mention, the many million cases more that this happens with.

The problem with this is that increased amounts means you've got an increased dependence on it, especially when it's something like Norco (check it on Google if you're wanting details).

To make a long story short, I found up how to lose twenty-five pounds in five days. Run out of Norco.

<sarcasm>

Ah yes, withdrawals. They're so much fun. There's nothing quite like your body purging everything out of your stomach, repeatedly, every fifteen minutes.

</sarcasm>

I wound up having to bump my doctor's appointment from Wednesday to yesterday, so I could get some anti-nausea medication. The name's like 40 characters long, and I'm not caring enough to bother spelling it out. Anyway, it worked yesterday, then today, I got up, had a late lunch, then everything went to hell again (this is well after the 48 hour period of when I'm supposed to be done with the violently ill part), and it started all over again. A few times, I thought I might have been vomiting blood, but with checking with the doctors, it's common that red Gatorade tends to congeal together once bound with stomach acid, so that blood and fruit punch Gatorade looks the same. Fun. I also made certain by chugging down water and puking that up, and there was no blood, so I'm safe (Hey, might as well when I'm stuck laying on the bathroom floor and petting the toilet bowl with my head).

In any case, yesterday was also Gaby's seventh birthday. She went to Castle Park (a small amusement park out here in Riverdirt) with her friends and their mom during the weekend, and we had a small party here at home, which it was just those of us living here, and Corwin, which was nice.

Sammi and I got her board games, card games, and more coloring stuff, all of which she loves, plus the usual Bratz/Barbie doll stuff. I also got Shelby a REAL FUCKING LEASH that extends out to 16 feet, instead of being this itty bitty, hot pink piece of shit that's 4 feet long. That fucking thing was barely long enough for the dog to move a foot away from me before she was choking herself. God help her if she decided to run, she could nearly do backflips.

Later this week is my cousin Ryan's birthday, whom lives in Indiana, then Mom's, then my father's, followed by my late grandmother's (17th, 21st, 28th, 29th), which will most likely mean a trip to the cemetary.


My coding exploits continue to yield results, and I'm currently working on some code that will allow the players on the MUD to convert from Metric to Standard, and vice versa.

And, my iPod Nano kicks ass.

That is all.

No, not in that way. I live at home with three women, and they all have female friends (ranging from age 2 to 50). I'm pretty well done and don't care about relationships at this point.

Anyway, I don't have classes this semester, I couldn't get into any that I needed, let alone wanted. I hate online courses, anyway.

I think the dog, Shelby, is the dumbest dog I have ever owned, or met. Apparently Chiahuahua vibrate so much, that it makes them less susceptible to learning, or having basic common sense.

Still working on house training her, and she's finally starting to understand the basic of 'come' and 'sit', although 90% of the time, she thinks you're going to go chase her down and play with her when you call her. SO doesn't work like that with me.

Things are so much better here now that Rufino's gone, although that's a lot less money, so we're having to adjust to the new accommodations. We had a yardsale today, starting at like 7 AM. It's been a very long day so far, but we sold nearly $500 worth of stuff. Rufino was a packrat. As it is, we still have an antique record, 8-track player with built-in speakers, and AM/FM radio which still works beautifully as well as a brand new pool table. We've had it a year, but have played on it a total of ten times. Craigslist to the rescue!

Other than the fact that plans fell through to go out to Texas, that's about it right now. I'm teaching myself C++ programming, sign language, and still working on MYSQL, which I hate.

Also, it seems as though by procrastinating on updating the MUD's forum which glares this annoying red text at me I have inadvertedly avoided a nasty backdoor that is widespread throughout the new, current version for PHPBB. Had I of updated, any user that connected to the forum (we have over 300 players) that used Windows XP or Vista would have fell victim to the backdoor, which would've installed a trojan and taken control of their system.

Yay, procrastinating! 

"Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now."

And now, it is time to go to sleep.

Got the net fixed. The phone line was literally corroded, and they had to replace a few hundred feet of wire. Most of it stemmed from my room. Go figure.

My cousin Sammi, whom lives with me, her grandmother died yesterday (on her father's side, so no relation to me, not much, anyway), and she's gone for the next week to Kentucky for the funeral.

I start classes next Monday, both C++ programming and 'advanced' stuff for the 'net, like PHP and SQL, both of which I need to know.

Mom and Rufino are getting a divorce, and Rufino's moved out of the house. He left with his trucks and the trailer (mom was nice enough to let him have that). Mom's not fond of the whole thing, and neither is Gaby.

Gaby started school yesterday, and until the YMCA daycare starts up next week, it's my responsibility to watch her after she gets out of school.

I also have a doctor's appointment next Monday, which includes the work release paperwork, so I also start work soon.

My birthday's also coming up, and I've decided to get out of the state for a couple of weeks. I've been saving up for it for a while now, and I'm going to go visit some friends of mine over in Texas.

Also, with the window AC units in my room and Mom's room, we can't run much anything else at the same time without tripping the power, so I've moved my computer out of there, and into the office. What that means is that unless I'm looking something up, or I happen to decide to deal with the rest of the house being near 100 degrees inside, I'm rarely on the computer anymore. In fact, when it comes to wanting to listen to music, I've taken to borrowing my sister's iPod nano, a hot pink one, no less, and using it off my playlist on here (it's been decided she's not responsible enough to be using it, so it's been stuffed away in the closet for a couple months). I figure it'll hold me out until I get my own come September.

Needless to say, I'm busy. Don't expect me on a whole lot at this point.

Seriously. In a fire. Writhing and burning with the hatred of a thousand celestial virgins upon it.

Anyway, we're without 'Net access. I'm currently leeching a very limited amount off of someone's unprotected network within the neighborhood, and it's spotty at best.

Nobody knows what they're doing at AT&T, and we keep getting the runaround when it comes to getting the network fixed. It's been this way since last Monday. Tomorrow, they're supposed to have a tech out to help us out, which they've been saying since Friday. Tomorrow, if they don't, we're moving to Charter. In either case, we won't have internet access for another week.

So, see everyone later.

Fuck you, AT&T.

So after quite a while of not having a camera, no thanks to Megan BORROWING it three years ago, I have a digital camera that I rescued. It's been floating around the house for a while, unused, and unloved (everyone has a camera phone). It was going to be given to Gaby to be destroyed, like many other of her things, but I managed to swipe it from her little claws before it got hurt even further.

I also feel like trying it out and getting used to it. So here goes.






She really hasn't gotten much bigger at all. She's 10 weeks old now.

I'll try to not make this too long, and not ramble like mad. Here goes.

I had my doctor's appointment today. It was a quick and easy one, they checked my scars, refilled my prescriptions, asked questions about how I've been doing, that sort of thing. Obviously, I have my medications again, and I was able to take them without having to munch on 6 at a time or anything (even took a smaller dose than I usually do). It was very nice to clean the kitchen, and not be hurting.

They're very happy with the progress I'm making. I told them what I did on Sunday at the park (the long hike, the football, etc.) and it got a bit of a shock out of my post-op doctor (I've got four doctors I see there, all for my spine), which I thought was funny. His mouth was hanging open. Not bad for someone who had their spine operated on just barely four months ago. Age definitely makes a difference for this sort of thing.

I also spoke with him (JZ is his name, and he is the post-operation doctor, cool guy) about worker's comp fucking up physical therapy. He put in a letter to them to force things along, since my evaluation won't be until October. Instead, either they have to give me 6 weeks more of PT, or I start doing all of my PT at home. Either way, it's win-win (I'm doing good enough now that either is good for me).

I also, also spoke with him about the potential job. He's all for it, and was very happy to hear about it. A few things to note though, I can't do any lifting, and I need to stand and sit as needed, as well as take my medications when needed (which should be fine). I go back in in a month to get a 'trial work period' note from Saimbanez, my surgeon/main doctor, and after that, I can start work and see how I'm doing. They're also looking to put me on permanent and stationary at some point in the near future, I'm getting close to the point where I won't be improving anymore, and will need to move forward, which is the settlement. JZ also made it very clear to go with the continued medical treatments instead of taking a full settlement (which I was already planning to do). Those things have to pay for the rest of my medical bills related to my spine for the rest of my LIFE. That's a lot of money. I still don't know how much I'm getting for the settlement, but for the fact that I have something like that, it's obviously not a trivial amount.

So yeah, it was good. Not to mention, today was also payday, which is always nice. Mom had an eye appointment today, so she came home from work early, and while she was at the exam, I went for a walk over to the bank. Got a good three or so miles in, but I was wearing the way wrong colors for the heat today, it was close to 100 and I was wearing black satin. Not the smartest thing, but I managed with sunglasses and hat.

I get to start registration for class next Monday, and the fall semester starts September 2nd, with my next doctor's appointment on the 3rd. If I'm going to be working, which is apparently a requirement here, I'm going to have to take part-time classes, and do part-time hours (which was the plan) with the job. I will most likely be losing the temporary disabled money because of me working, but I'd rather be making $10 an hour for 30 hour weeks, than the $252 I get bi-weekly. Pretty big difference there.

I'm in a good mood, and bored, so I'll join in this, with the whole... four of you that read this.

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me". (If you want to, of course! No pressure at all.)
2. I'll respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature (or not so creepy/personal).
3. Update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, ask them five questions.

Okay, so apparently this turned into something a lot longer than I originally expected it to be. As always, my comments to something I wrote, or an explanation are in parentheses.


At least, I have been lately. I'm really trying to make it a point here to at least log in once a day and check things. Even if I don't post or make comments on things, I at least like to keep abreast of things as much as possible.

Yesterday was a blast. I really enjoyed myself. Actually, the entire weekend was great. I was at the point that I was going insane with not getting out of the house, and having to deal with my family day in and day out. And the damned little dog, too.

It seems like there were a lot of photos taken of me this weekend, with promises to send them to me. I know Bill, Diego and Carlos got me, so it's just a matter of getting copies at this point. I just want them now. :(

Unfortunately however, with as much activities going on this past weekend, I seem to have really overdone things, and I've been paying for it in spades today. Especially because my doctor's office shorted me by two weeks for ALL of my medications. I'm not too happy about that one. It's like I get on here and rant about being out of meds for one reason or another every few months. I know honestly that I was pretty well addicted to them some 2, 3 months ago. Norco (with an opiate base), the main painkiller I take is extremely addictive, and at it's worst, I was taking 4 or 5 of them at a time, typically three times a day (morning, afternoon, bed).

I mention this for a couple of reasons: firstly, I have come across addiction with this stuff twice before, and it totally sucked coming off it like I had to (ESPECIALLY the Ambien (note: It causes a lot of stress on the body's system. I.e., mood swings, severe aggravation, insomnia, etc.), and it is definitely considered harmful to stop it cold turkey. You MUST wean off of it). But I also mention it because of these past situations, that my doctors have been weaning me off the hard stuff. Ultram, Zanaflex and Ambien are considered safe for long-term use (minus the body's addiction with Ambien), but Norco causes serious dependencies with it, as the opiates prevent the body from developing endorphins as they're released chemically (the body thinks it has enough, so it doesn't produce any), which can cause pretty severe depression until the body begins to develop it's own once again (takes about two weeks for it to start doing so), not to mention other problems with it (liver damage is a prominent one as it contains acetaminophen (I can totally spell that without thinking now)).

But to continue, since I keep expanding on the same point without actually saying it, is that the doctors are indeed weaning me off of Norco, and that I've been doing very well with it. They want me to take three to four a day, so I only take three to four a day. Which is how I know that the medications were shorted, as everything ended within a day of one another.

So yeah, this past week and a half has been pretty rough for me, which means the whole hike/waterballoon/squirtgun fight/football stuff probably wasn't the best thing for me to do without the meds to help along (even in physical therapy, they say to take the meds to help reduce pain, especially now that I'm doing more of the trunk stabilization/muscle training). Oh well.

There is a good thing to this. My appointment's on the 31st. I thought that was a Friday. It's a Thursday instead, which means I have one less day to hurt.

I had to wait until Gaby was still asleep before I could nab a photo, which I just now did.

So for those of you who haven't seen it yet, go see the Dark Knight. It's not often that I go see a movie in the theaters more than once. Even rarer, one day after the other. It's that good.

So this morning, before going to the movies, I'm getting ready, and I'm in my bathrobe, which knocks over my glass of water. Which happens to pour DIRECTLY into my keyboard. It's one dead keyboard. Thankfully, I have a warranty/replacement policy I paid for when I bought it, so after going to the movies, I went by Staples with my keyboard, "I just don't know what happened to it. It was working fine last night." and got it replaced for $10. Not bad when it cost $120 originally.

So I get home, walk in the kitchen, and I'm greeted by this teeny tiny, part Daschund, part Chihuahua puppy, that's just 8 weeks old. She's not from a breeder, like I originally thought, but from a family that wound up having unplanned puppies. Her name's Shelby, like the car. I'll try and get a picture posted later.

So Friday, my stuff for RCC FINALLY arrived. A whole three days before the summer semester starts. Of course, my classes I needed were closed and full. But thankfully, I was able to petition directly to the instructor, and I did so via email, and explained my situation to him. It went something like this:

 "LFG 4 CIS-2. I has baek surgery. I hurt. No school in person four me. I has no flavour."
  "Oh, okies."
Instructor has invited Kazlor to the guild, RCC class CIS-2, System Analysis.
 "kk thx"

Anyway. I start Tuesday.
I also get BB (my truck) insured again next week, most likely Thursday or so. Monday, I need to go get my book from the school's bookstore since I won't be able to order it online and have it here on time. I know more than enough for working with computers, hardware included (which is the whole point of the class) but I'm not about to brute force that shit without a book.

Also, it's just a month and six days away, but July 28th is Crystal's and I's year anniversary. I think we got an idea of what we're going to do, which involves the Rain Forest Cafe at Downtown Disney. But I'm also looking to make it that much better, too. She deserves and needs something nice. I love her too much not to, anyway.

It's late though, and I need to get to bed before too much longer.

Ciao.

Right. Today's been pretty shitty, so don't mind me. I'm just venting.

So for almost four years now, I've been living out of Mom's house, both on my own in Las Vegas, and with my father. Dad's a pot smoker, an addicted pot smoker. It's not a habitual thing for him, it's a requirement. Expensive, too. He's told me before that he's spent a good $800 in one month alone on the shit. I don't like it, so I I stay away from it. Dad had a serious problem with it when I was a kid (he's also brain damaged from an accident involving a bicycle, a 54% downhill grade and concrete while in the Navy). It took a lot for him to get clean, and he was clean for twelve years. As of January of 2007, he got back on it, and he's off getting stoned five to seven times a day, every day.  I'll be honest, I've tried it before, in fact, it was with him. I went looking for answers as to why he got back on it, and found out that it wasn't for me.   It (his pot use) is partially why I moved out, back in with my mother, as well. The big portion was that I was going to be recovering from surgery, and I needed someone to be capable of helping me until I was able to do so on my own.

Anyway. Here at Mom's, it's another story. There's my mother, my cousin Sammi, my half-sister Gaby, mom and Rufino, my step-father. Rufino and I do not get along. I'm 24, he's 33, Mom's 44. Rufino was born and raised in Zacatecas, Mexico (that's RURAL Mexico), and to be frank, believes in a completely different lifestyle than what is necessary here. I cannot work right now due to medical and legal conditions, that being my back. Because of his upbringing, unless you're out working 40 hours a week, you're less than shit to him. That sums it up pretty well right there, so I needn't explain the situation further. He's just a fucking dick. Period.

On top of that, for the past two months or so, Mom's been in an exceedingly  bad mood every since I've been able to walk without support, and as it was like I was growing up, if she has a bad day at work, I'm the scapegoat. Add on top of that that right now, our AC is broken (pipe busted) and a technician won't be out until Thursday to take a look at it. It was 103 today.

Rewind to 6 pm tonight, Mom's getting home, I just got in from nearly three hours of physical therapy, with the new phase they put me in for strength conditioning, so I'm pretty sore, and hot. I'm laying down in my room, away from everyone else so I don't happen to piss Rufino off by breathing in his presence, and she comes in, yelling about how I'm using the computer. She goes on this rant about how I use it too much (I know I do. But I don't watch TV) and how I'm 'fucking lazy.' Then it turns into how I hadn't cooked dinner (at which I went "Huh?" That was a new one to me, but I'm apparently supposed to cook dinner every other night now, pay rent, and clean the house), or taken care of the kitchen. Nevermind the fact that I'd just gotten back, and during the day it's too hot and too hard on my back in general.

I really love the part where she threatened to take my computer away, which I paid for, not to mention that with paying rent, it includes electricity and net access. I'm sorry, but when did I become twelve again? Did I take too many painkillers at some point and woke up to not realize I'm a kid in an adult's body? Not fucking likely.

Part of me had the thought of seeing to it that her two computers, which are always running (a big peeve of hers is that if I'm not using my computer, that it is turned off), they are NEVER turned off. It took me a total of fourteen hours to repair and clean both systems, most of the work done simultaniously while the other was busy defragging or running a virus scan, or updating. Lot of shit that had to be done, considering they don't know how to use a computer other than to log on Yahoo, check email and play Pool. As tempting as it sounds for both computers to 'lose' their network drivers, or have their BIOS flashed, or a magnet placed inside the tower (I don't think either case has ever been opened and cleaned out from all the dust/dander buildup they get), I'm really not that mean, or at least I don't have the balls to go through with it. Whatever.

I'm really hoping this is just a passing phase with her. I can handle Rufino being a dick, but when it's two people and it's a constant thing like it has been for nearly two months now, I'm getting really fucking fed up with it. If it continues, I think I'm going to be moving sometime in the near future.

So yeah, starting next Monday, I'll be taking college courses again. Words cannot describe how excited I am about it. I haven't been sleeping much lately, about three hours or so, and the rest of the time is spent laying in bed trying to sleep. But I figure on average, I spend around 16 hours a day near the computer. Some of it, is spent working on the MUD, and taking care of the players when the need arises, or things involving the site (PHP, MYSQL, etc.). While I am doing better with my back and able to get around, I do not feel I am ready for taking summer courses just yet, especially at 4 units each, that's a lot of time to be on my feet.

Not to mention, I don't have my truck, BB, running again just yet (legality issues, mostly. I need to get insurance again. I have a great record though. No accidents, no tickets, going on 25, male. Insurance is usually $40 a month for me. Can't beat that with a stick), she needs a new starter, so I'm likely going to have either Corwin or Dad do the work for me and replace the part, which is an easy enough job. Were I able to get down on the ground on a creeper and climb under the truck, I'd do it myself. That's the nice thing about growing up around a family of owner/operators with construction work. They taught me how to fix things for myself. Dad's an electrician, which is great (starters = really STUPID WIRING), and Corwin's going through UTI at the moment. I figure I can give him some real world experience. :D

But yeah, since I can't go to the campus very easily just yet, I'm going to be taking my summer courses online. I'm going to start with two, one of which will either be PHP (which I need for the MUD anyway, I coded our forums with it, and I still have a lot to learn), or computer system analysis and repair, which is essentially determining problems and troubleshooting, with hardware. The other potential class I might take is a math class, but with as horrible as I am with math, I might wait to take it in the Fall when I can be there in person since I'm bound to have too many questions (as an example, I'm so craptacular with math, I get to start with algebra. HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN! YAY!) I fucking failed algebra three times before I managed to pass it, and then took geometry as my second math course, my senior year. There's a lot to that though. My freshman year of highschool was at a private Christian school (Yeah, how about that?) that when I finished the year and transfered to a public school, the transcripts were unofficial and the credits were unaccounted for. So I had to play catchup the whole time to make up for my freshman year which 'didn't count.' I actually wound up taking five years of high school. Not a fun time. On top of that, my third year in, my grandmother passed away, and I pissed away that year with fighting some pretty bad depression. I wound up taking some 16 classes all-together my last year there, and nearly graduated with honors at that point once I finally got my act together.

Anyway, yeah. School. Finally. The line's being cut pretty close since classes start on the 23rd and my application went in today (since it's electronic, it should be done today, which I can get the courses paid for right after that), but I doubt there'll be any serious issues. Here's to hoping!

I know I don't post on here too often, but I at least like to put down thoughts to paper, or HTML, in this case.

I had a blast this weekend at Crystal's birthday party, it was really nice to be able to get out, and not be stuck in the house and hurting all the time, not to mention it's always great to be able to spend time with her.. I'm kinda bummed I couldn't make it to Courtney's farewell party, but she'll be back in a month, so it's not the end of the world, at least.

This week's had a few hiccups for me, but nothing I need to complain too loudly about. The hardest thing right now is that I'm out of all of my pain medication, and after being on it for so long, I know without a doubt that my body's developed a dependency to it, which I fuckin' HATE. The worst of the withdrawal affects have passed (earlier this week was fighting some pretty annoying depression coupled with nausea/vomiting), so now it's just pain management. Speaking of which, I started physical therapy today. I get to walk around in a pool for 15-20 minutes in every direction (side to side, forwards, backwards), then several stretches, followed up with some time in the whirlpool. The therapist was happy with my progress from home and encouraged me to keep it up, especially the walking and sitting (I'm WAY past an hour of sitting now, this is like... hour six).

Starting tomorrow, my six year old sister is home for the summer from school, which means I get to start watching her during the day. I'm a little hesitant with it all, due to my back, but it shouldn't be too hard. The big problem right now is being able to sleep and getting up at a decent time (of which I'm doing nothing at all right now). All next week is going to be pretty busy for me, what with watching Gaby, and also having to go to the doctors every day of the week, save for Friday (PT Mon., Tue., Wed., and an appointment for my back on Thurs.).

I've only got a week to go now until I get back on the meds again, which I'm really not wanting to do, but I'm also not yet ready to be off of them, which makes it frustrating for me. I'm going to bring it up with them about starting to wean off of what I can. The sooner, the better, I say.

I had my surgery on the 25th of March, over a month ago now. It went very well, save for lung infection. I got out within a week, and I was talking (with help) the day after the surgery. Five days after the surgery, I was able to get up without help, and walk on my own. Now besides the scars, and, having them heal up, and still being weakened from the whole thing. I got pictures to share, too.

http://s32.photobucket.com/albums/d42/Kazlor/
The password is ninja.

Things have been going very well for me, all things considered. I moved out of Dad's house and away from the 24/7 wake and bake stoner and moved back into Mom's house. I quit smoking three months ago and haven't had an issue with it since. I quit on account of health reasons, and also because I was moving back to Mom's and she doesn't know I smoked (which means not to tell her, if you didn't know). I also lost even more weight, which helps my back a lot. I'm down to 270 pounds now. About four months ago, I weighed about 315. I'm also not hurting anywhere near like I used to. None of the pinched nerves or the fractured spine (they removed the bone that was broken. Apparently the tip of my vertebrae was literally just floating around, and it'd grind/stab my back at random. Everything's been taken care of.

Granted, I'm still sore, but that's to be expected from such a major surgery (it took almost nine hours!). I'm up and about now without using my walker (I've been able to ever since I got home), which is great because I hated that fucking thing.

I'm so glad to be home at Mom's again, although things haven't improved any with my stepfather. I don't mind though. He's a total asshole, and apparently even Mom is fed up with his shit and is at the line to divorce him.

I'm also talking regularly with Crystal again, and have been for almost a month now, which is awesome and very nice.
We both spoke about our feelings and came to realize there was still attachment between the two of us. As I found out the other day, it's much more so for her, than I. I don't mean I hate her or anything like that, it's quite the contrary. But I'm hesitant to jump back into anything headfirst after what happened.


I think that's about everything I can think of for now. It's like, 3:30 am and I'm falling asleep. And see, Courtney? I DO check LJ out. :P

I have White Cheddar Rice Cakes.

That is all.

It seems like it's a lot longer. I'm not even sure how I feel or what I should feel or what I should be doing. I do know I acted far too rashly and that I was pissed off and hurt and that I felt betrayed. I feel as though I should apologize for the last post, which I deleted. So, I am. I'm sorry.

I'm not so sure if going to Rocky tonight is going to be a good idea. I guess I'll find out. If anything, I can leave early.

In other news, I heard from the lawyer yesterday. The defense attorney dropped his case against me, and my surgery's referral is already in, so I'll find out by Wednesday of this next week when my surgery is. On top of that, I've also got my money issues resolved.


Even if it wasn't intentional, I wanted to thank you for not removing me from the list on here, Courtney. It means a lot to me.

I'm gonna go be sick now. I haven't been doing too well on that part, I just really haven't mentioned it. Stress = pissed off ulcer = not eating. I did tell her I've been losing weight though. I've lost about 20 pounds. I'm right at 270 now. Kinda scary, I haven't been at this weight in eight years.

See you later tonight.

P.S. Oh, and would you be so kind as to ask Crystal to readd me on here, please? I'd appreciate it. Thanks again.

So this weekend was awesome. I had a great time with Crystal, we got to spend some time together before and after Rocky, and also on Sunday. She also got to meet my family, which was hilarious for me as she was so nervous. My cousin, mother, Gaby (my six year old sister), Corwin, Crystal and I all went to a restaurant here in Riverside called Ooka. It's kinda like Benijana or however it's spelled. They put on a show with cooking the food, and it's all really good and fresh, if not a bit expensive, but you definitely pay for what you get.

I spoke with Mom earlier tonight on the phone, and she really likes Crystal, said she's extremely down to earth and very nice and that we get along great. W00tage.

A while back, probably about two months ago, I submitted my resume for a text-based Shadowrun MUD I play on, of which I've played there about six years now for an assistant administrator position that came up. The owner's really busy with life in general, and needs extra help with keeping the game going and situated appropriately. It wound up being a pretty close draw to one other player and I, he being ideal for the code aspects, and I for the PR. I got the spot. So I've been relearning all the commands for the position and working on getting things ready to fix the forums and save it from the horrible spam it receives multiple times a day.